The Life and Lies of Astoria Greengrass
by thankyoucaptain
Summary: Collection of oneshots following Astoria as she makes the decision to rebel, then as she finds her way to love, someone she never would have expected.   I cut out the language!  Drastoria.
1. First Year: RavenSlytherin

edit: I didn't like the fact that they were swearing, (what was I thinking?) so I went back and changed it. Sorry people! Anyway, I hope you like it!

This is basically going to be a collection of chronological one shots in the life of Astoria (my interpretation).

Poor Astoria. She goes through so much.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

**First Year (PoA)**

Astoria watched, standing behind her parents, as they hugged Daphne goodbye.

"Goodbye, darling! Write to me, won't you?" Her mother asked her. Her father even unbent himself enough to rap an arm around his older daughter.

"Of course, mother. I love you, father!" Daphne said with a smile and a wave.

Then Astoria's parents turned to her. Waiting for her to say something.

"Goodbye, then!" Astoria said, trying to sound chipper. "I'll owl you once I'm sorted then?" She was trying to make this less awkward. She didn't realize what a social gaffe she had just committed.

"Sorted?" Her father rumbled warningly.

Astoria was confused. What did she say now?

"YOU will be in Slytherin. Like your sister. Like us. Like all of your ancestors!" Her mother said dangerously.

"Oh. But…" Her mother cut Astoria off.

"No. no Buts. You are not a Black, there is no question." Her mother eyed Astoria, making sure the girl understood the double meaning. The Black family had had some mishaps recently, and if Astoria wasn't careful, she would end up like them.

"Yes Mother." Astoria said meekly, head bowed. She didn't want her parents any madder at her.

"Good. Now get on the train, and be a good girl. Don't bother your sister too much. She doesn't want a first year tagalong. Don't talk to anyone that isn't….satisfactory. Always behave like a Greengrass. Do nothing to shame our name. Do you understand?" Her mother listed off a bunch of rules for Astoria to follow.

"Yes Mother." Astoria turned away, toward the train. "Oh. Uh, I…" She wanted to tell them something, but she wasn't sure of their reaction.

"What?" Her mother said warningly.

"I, I will try to make you proud. And, I, I love you." She stammered; trying to get out the feelings she felt pressuring her heart.

Her mother's face softened. It wasn't that she hated her daughter, it was just that her daughter was… difficult. "I know you will. And remember, we love you as well."

Astoria's heart leaped. She rarely heard that sentiment directed towards her anymore. She would do anything to hear it again!

Before Astoria could start crying, or display some other "non-Greengrass" emotion, she nodded, and walked to the train. She boarded it, and never looked back.

0o0o0o0o0o0o

There weren't any empty compartments, but there was one with only one person in it. The girl had a strange necklace on, which looked like butterbeer caps, but she was also reading a book, so Astoria didn't think she would mind.

Pausing to ensure her Pureblood Mask of Indifference was in place, she opened the sliding glass door, and walked in.

The girl didn't look up; she just tossed her dirty blonde hair to the side, and continued reading the magazine. It was the Quibbler, she saw. Her family thought it was a load of rubbish, but when she had gotten a hold of one, she had decided it was just a bit odd.

She pulled out her own book; this one about a muggle philosopher named Plato, and started reading.

After a few minutes of comfortable silence, the girl spoke.

"They think Daddy is mad, you know. Because he believes in Crumple Horned Snorkacks. He is going to go looking for them this year. He hopes to find one, and prove them wrong."

Astoria looked up in well-hidden shock. Then she back towards the floor.

She hadn't thought the girl was going to speak to her! If her father believed in the Snorkacks, then he must be the editor of the Quibbler, Xenophilius Lovegood. That made this Luna Lovegood, his daughter, who was rumoured to be as mad as he was.

"You are Luna Lovegood." She said aloud. Luna nodded. "My parents also think he is mad. I don't. All of the most important discoverers were considered mad, until they found the creature which made them famous."

"So you think the Snorkacks are real?" Luna asked, in excitement.

"I wouldn't say that. I believe that they may exist. However, I have not done sufficient research on them to be sure. Your father and you are, I presume, the experts?"

Luna nodded fervently.

Astoria continued the conversation, enjoying talking to an intelligent person for once. Granted, Luna was a bit odd, but Astoria liked her well enough. Not enough to be anything more than one time acquaintances, her family wouldn't allow it, but she might as well make the best of the time she had.

They continued chatting, Astoria never actually making eye contact with Luna, until a boy walked in.

"There you are, Luna! I thought I had lost you!" His name was Longbottom. She recognized him from a long ago newspaper article, where he had been a little boy.

He looked over at her curiously.

"Who's this, Luna? Friend of yours?"

"Oh, no. We just met! She believes in Daddy and I, and she almost believes in Nargals and Snorkacks. I enjoy her company."

Astoria blushed inside. This girl liked her! That was a first.

Luna continued. "I think she will be in Ravenclaw. She is very smart."

Astoria looked up at her, scared, forgetting to hide her eyes. She couldn't be in Ravenclaw! Her family would never forgive her!

Longbottom looked at her, recognizing her extremely green eyes, which automatically classified her as a Greengrass.

"Luna?" He said, coming to sit next her, across from Astoria. "I don't think so. Do you even know her name?" He didn't trust her, because of her name. Why didn't he trust her? What was wrong with being a Greengrass?

Astoria knew that the Lovegoods were supposedly quacks and blood traitors, and the Longbottoms, while not blood traitors, were rather close, but she didn't see what the problem with talking to them was!

In fact, Astoria didn't even care that they were blood traitors, but she knew her family would.

"Hmm. No. Is that a problem?" Luna's response to Longbottom cut across Astoria's reflections.

"She is a Greengrass, Luna. Up there with the Malfoys, and Blacks, and every other extreme pureblood family." Longbottom whispered, attempting to explain to Luna.

"I can hear you when you whisper!" Astoria said regally. How dare he insult her family like that! There was nothing wrong with being a Greengrass!

"And," Astoria continued, "I am perfectly aware who Luna is. And you are a Longbottom…" She thought hard. She remembered the death eaters talking about him once…what was his name? Ah, Neville. That was it.

"Neville, isn't it? I will have you know there is nothing wrong with being a Greengrass, I perfectly proud of it."

Then she turned to Luna "Thank you for your stimulating conversation. I understand you didn't realize it, but Greengrasses have been placed in Slytherin for centuries. Suggesting I could be placed in Ravenclaw is considered an insult."

She then gathered her bag, and swept out of the room.

As she left, she heard Luna remark, "I think you angered her, Neville."

Astoria sighed, and put the girl out her mind

She decided to wait until Neville had left the compartment with Luna, and then go back. She didn't want to talk to him, but she also didn't feel up to chatting with someone else.

Unfortunately, as she walked down the hall, towards the bathroom, she ran into someone, then started to fall. It was a boy, who caught her before she reached the floor, picked her back up. He stood her on her feet, and peered at her.

"There is no need to stare!" She said haughtily, glaring at him. Recognizing her green eyes, he turned to the compartment they were right outside of, and called to her sister.

"Daphne, I didn't know you had a sister! She's quite the cheeky little girl!" The boy crowed. She recognized him, not that it was hard.

He had silky whitish-blond hair, and pale skin. She supposed he could be attractive, but he was much too arrogant to appeal to her.

"I am not a little girl, neither am I 'cheeky', Draco Malfoy!" She raised her voice slightly, and pitched the words straight at his back, which was turned towards her.

He turned back to face her, eyebrow raised, slightly shocked. "How did you know my name?"

"It isn't that hard. I go to all of the Pureblood meetings as well. And besides, I make it a priority to learn the names of the people who are much too vain, so I can stay away from them."

He gaped at her, trying to understand what she meant. Then he got it, and anger crossed his face instead.

The Slytherins in the compartment behind him got it at the same time he did, because a roar of laughter accompanied his change in emotion.

"You think you are just so damn smart, don't you?" He asked angrily. An intake of breath came from behind him, but before anyone could object, she laughed scornfully.

"Careful, Malfoy. You might just ruin those 'little girl' ears of mine, and then what would your mummy say?"

"Only little girls call their mothers that." Malfoy snapped back.

"Really? Then the reason you do it is..." Astoria asked coyly. Malfoy looked at her puzzled. He wasn't smart enough to get it right away, but he would get it eventually!

He was beet red by now, and none of the hoots of laughter coming from the compartment were helping his anger. Then he got it.

"Screw you."

"Don't you wish you could!" She said wickedly. He curled his hands into fists, trying hard not to lose all of his composure, and hit her or something. Astoria knew she needed to end this soon, or she might end up hurt.

"Hmm. I think that 'little girl' you 'picked up' in the hall just beat you in an argument, Malfoy!" She turned on her heel and walked away, calm as can be.

When she reached the compartment that she had previously shared with Luna, she sighed, and slipped inside.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Astoria was just a little bit scared by now. After the dementors on the train looking for Sirius Black (who wasn't a Death Eater at all…) and the boat ride across a rain lashed lake, she didn't know what else she could take.

Her nerves were stretched to the breaking point.

All the first years were standing in a big group, soaking wet, waiting for Professor McGonagall (the teacher of transfiguration, and a registered Animagus, a cat) to bring them into the Great Hall.

Meanwhile, all of the first years were talking amongst themselves. Astoria stood to one side of the group, expecting all of them to ignore her, as per usual.

She was very surprised when a boy came over, and held out his hand for her to shake. She looked down at it.

She didn't like shaking hands, it seemed…dirty to her. Maybe they were passing germs. Either way, she didn't like it.

Why had the boy come and tried to talk to her? People didn't talk to her, she was a Greengrass, a pureblood. Everyone knew that.

But this boy didn't. Oh. He was a muggleborn. That was why!

"You are a mu…" She started to say, but was interrupted as another boy came rushing at her. What was it with annoying boys today?

"Don't!" The boy yelled, cutting her off.

Both she and the first boy looked very confused, then Astoria understood. This second boy thought she was going to say Mudblood. She wasn't! She didn't like to say it, it didn't seem right to her.

"Don't what? Call the boy a mu..."

"Don't!"

…ggleborn?" She finished, so that the boy would understand how stupid he was.

"Oh. I thought…" The second boy stammered.

"I know perfectly well what you thought. I don't need you to explain. You are an assumptive idiot. Now go explain to this poor boy," indicating the first boy "As to why you so rudely interrupted me, before someone insults him for real."

"Don't tell me what to do!" The boy demanded, petulantly "You can't do that!"

"Oh?" She asked archly, eyebrow raised. "Are you sure? Coming from a boy whose favorite word is don't, that's a bit rich, isn't it?" Before he could complain further, or make himself out to be even more of an jerk than he already had, she turned away.

Why was everyone else her age so stupid? She always felt older than the people her age, more mature. She fit in better with people 2 or 3 years older than her, unless they were her sister's friends. They always saw her as a little kid, as exemplified by Malfoy earlier.

"First Years?" McGonagall called. "We are ready for you now."

All of the first years followed her into an enormous room. It was filled with extremely long tables, filled with older students.

At the front of the room was another long table, filled with teachers. The enchanted sky overhead rumbled, copying the thunderstorm outside.

While Astoria gazed around the room, McGonagall had started the sorting process. She was almost through the A's. Astoria tuned her out until she reached:

"Gallagher, John?" He went into Hufflepuff. He was the first boy who had bothered her. Figures.

It seemed an eternity until McGonagall reached

"Greengrass, Astoria?"

Astoria gathered herself together (remember the Pureblood Mask of Indifference!) and walked to the stool. She perched herself on it, and felt the hat lowered down onto her head.

"_Interesting."_ Astoria could tell it was a very powerful magical artifact, as every word was incantatory. _"Where shall we put you?"_

Slytherin. Slytherin. I want to go into Slytherin.

"_Slytherin? You wouldn't do well there… You belong in RAVEN-" _

"NO!" She yelled out loud.

Realizing it, she thought furiously NO! PLEASE! Not that, not that!

"_-SLYTHERIN!"_

Years later, she would swear that the hat chuckled at her as it changed its mind. She would also wonder how different her life would have been if she had just let the hat chose.

The entire Great Hall was quiet. -It didn't happen very often, that the hat changed its mind, half way through. If fact, it rarely happened. Once or twice in its history, actually.- Astoria's mind was babbling as she walked slowly to the Slytherin table.

The entire Hall watched her as she walked. She reached the Slytherin table, and waited for someone to slide aside so she could sit somewhere. No one did. So she boosted herself up on the end of the table, and looked back at Professor McGonagall.

A couple people chuckled at the way she handled the situation, mostly from the Gryffindor table.

McGonagall regained her composure, and called the next name.

"Halen, Katie?"

0o0o0o0o0o0o

Later, after the feast, Astoria joined the small group of first years, trying to blend in. She didn't want anyone to bother her right now.

"Alright first years. The common room is this way." The Slytherin prefect called, and led the way.

They walked all the way down to the dungeons. Figures.

"The password is Salazar. If you don't know who he is, you're clearly dumb." The same prefect told the students. A couple people laughed.

But that wasn't fair! What if you were a muggleborn? How were you supposed to know?

She opened her mouth to ask, then shut it. This was Slytherin! No muggleborns allowed! Clearly, all of the horrible events of the day were wreaking havoc on her thought processes.

The rest of the first years began filling through the door. She made to follow them in, but a hand across the doorway stopped her.

What? She looked up at the perpetrator. Draco Malfoy. Oh dear.

"I don't think this is the right common room, Raven-Slytherin. Go find your own." He drawled, then pushed her back.

"You are just jealous." She stepped forward, challenging him.

"Jealous? What on earth do you mean? Why would I want to be a Raven-Slytherin?" He was confused, but he still drawled cockily. He thought he could win this argument. So she would prove him wrong.

"You are jealous, Malfoy, of me."

"Why would I be jealous of a tiny-little-thing-that-embarrassed-our-house like you?"

"Because I haven't been in this castle a day, and everyone knows my name. You however, had to pretend to be a peacock for several weeks, and insult the Boy-Who-Lived many times before even half of the population cared." It was all true.

Draco was completely surprised. He thought he would just embarrass her a little, to make up for earlier, then leave her alone. He didn't know she would bite back.

He turned bright red as his housemates jeered and laughed at him. He stepped closer to her, threateningly.

His mouth was working, trying to think of something to say. Finally he said "The Boy-Who-Lived? What are you, some kind of blood traitor?"

How dare he call her a blood traitor! She was a Greengrass! Greengrasses weren't blood traitors, that was a horrible insult!

So she reached up and slapped him. Before he could get over his shock and grab her, she tried to push past him into the common room.

She wasn't quick enough though, his hand shot out and grabbed her arm.

"What the fuck was that?" He yelled at her, right in his face.

Astoria was scared, but she didn't show it. She was trying to think of some way to get him to let go, when her sister sauntered over. Merlin, she hoped her sister didn't hate her too!

"Malfoy. Why are you touching my sister?" Daphne asked pointedly. Astoria sighed gratefully in her mind. Her sister didn't hate her!

Malfoy dropped Astoria's arm as if he had been burned, and glared at her.

Before he could start protesting his innocence, Astoria piped up "He called me a blood traitor, Daphne."

Daphne eyes widened, shocked. Then her hand reached up and slapped Malfoy, on the same cheek her sister had.

Malfoy clapped his hand to his cheek. "WHAT THE BLOODY HELL WAS THAT?" He yelled.

"You DON'T call her that. You don't think that about her. If fact, you don't think about her. You don't look at her, you don't talk to her. Hear me, Draco? Leave my sister ALONE!"

Wow. Daphne had never stood up for her before. Apparently, she had made Daphne proud of her,

"Stupid Women..." Draco muttered as he turned away. Astoria got mad.

Her sister had stood up for her for once, and Draco called them that? No. That wasn't okay.

She pulled her wand out, and said softly _"Densaugeo. Fumunculus."_Then, before Malfoy could do anything else to her, she ran up to the Girl's Dormitory.

0o0o0o0o0o0o

So, did you like it? If so, you should press that button down there. No, not the "favorite" one (though that is nice too, if you are the silent type) but the review button. It would mean a lot to me. But try to be nice.

(Densaugeo was the spell used against Hermione to make her teeth grow. Fumunculus afflicts the victim with large boils.)

~Rose


	2. Third Year: Blackmail

edit: I realized I put up the wrong one, forgive the previous errors. If there are anymore, pray tell me.

This one is set in 3rd year. It's kind of a filler, but it also gives an impression of her Hogwarts life for most of her years, which is important for later.

0o0o0o0o0o0

**Third Year( OotP)**

Astoria sighed, and put aside her parchment. One roll of parchment for Professor Flitwick. Now she had no more homework. She wasn't sure if that was a good thing, or a bad thing.

On one hand, all this homework was pointless if she wasn't going to turn it in, but on the other hand, homework was something to do. And she had read her way through half the library already, she obviously didn't have much to do.

Just then, she felt someone walk up behind her. Great. Malfoy. He was the only one who noticed her anymore, but that was how she wanted it!

Granted, if she didn't fight with Malfoy all the time, the Slytherins would probably notice her less, but she would probably go mad if she didn't. As such, she did make sure she never yelled at him in public, so she could retain her anonymity.

"So, Greengrass…" Malfoy drawled from behind her, expecting her to jump. Instead she just turned slowly, and glared at him. A couple people around the Slytherin common room noticed, and watched. Astoria's fights with Malfoy were legendary among Slytherins.

"Yes? Did you need something?" She questioned, sweetly, glaring at the same time.

"Finally finished your homework?" He smirked at her, as if he knew something she didn't.

"Yes. And no, even though you are failing, I won't do yours for you." She smirked back, a couple chuckles were heard from their audience.

"Gonna turn that one in?" He asked her quietly, so their audience couldn't hear him.

She gaped at him for a second, before regaining her composure. How could he know about that? She hadn't told anyone!

He smirked at her, happy for a reaction.

"You've really stooped that low?" She threw back, as a challenge. She could see the confusion in his eyes.

"You are really STALKING me, Malfoy? Really?" She said this loud enough for their audience to hear. They laughed. She then continued saying in a commiserating tone "What would your friends say if they knew you were stalking the Third Year? They already think you have an unhealthy obsession with me…"

Malfoy turned red. His friends really didn't understand why Astoria got under his skin so easily. Astoria herself wondered that!

"What would the teachers say if they knew about your secret, Greengrass?" Malfoy retorted loudly, attempting to blackmail her. The audience heard him, and chortled. Malfoy hadn't tried blackmail before! This would be interesting.

Shit. She couldn't have the teachers know, that would ruin her 'hiding in plain sight' plan!

"What, potentially, do you want, Malfoy?" She said, exasperated. It might be easier to let him win this time, memory charms were… bothersome.

The audience laughed, thinking that Astoria had given in.

"Hm. What do I want from you…?" Malfoy smirked, implying something sexual. "How about, a… kiss?" He offered, as if it was such a privilege.

"In your dreams. No."

"Dear Greengrass, my dreams are filled with… other things. What makes you think I dream about kissing you?"

"Nothing. Just how turned on you get when I argue with you…" She said wickedly, smirking.

The audience, forgotten by the two, laughed uproariously.

Malfoy blushed furiously, before retorting "You're imagining things, Greengrass!"

"Really, Malfoy? You have a crush, on me? You are turned on by me, the Third Year? No wonder you stalk me! Well, let me tell you, I have no intent of kissing you, especially with such a dangerous crush! Tell me, would the teachers believe you, once I tell them that you just engineered this whole thing to get a kiss?"

Malfoy, bright red, and likely to stay that way, reached out and grabbed the parchment she had put aside. "They will if I show them the proof! Then they will see your lie as it is, a lie!"

Shit. He was not supposed to think of that!

"Just you try it, Malfoy." She said dangerously, pulling her wand out.

Malfoy, noticing this, began to back up, scared. He had no wish to cursed by Astoria. She had done it on various occasions, and he knew how dangerous he was.

She just raised her wand higher, pointing it at him. He turned, and walked quickly to the entrance of the common room.

"Maybe I will, Greengrass! Right now! What do you think of that?" He threatened, half in, half out of the doorway.

"Do that, and I will curse you to oblivion, Draco Malfoy!" She yelled, walking quickly towards him.

Malfoy, eyes wide, ran out the door.

"Darn it, Malfoy!" She yelled, and chased after him.

Once outside, in the corridor, Astoria called softly, almost seductively. He turned around, shocked, thinking she might just kiss him to stop him.

That's what she wanted him to think, so she crooked her finger at him. He slowly walked closer, wondering if it was a trick. Of course it was! But he didn't know that yet. That's the way Astoria wanted it.

Once he was close enough, she said "Ha. You lose again, Malfoy." Then, before he could react, she pointed her wand at him, and said _"Obliviate."_

Then, before anyone came out into the corridor to see what happened, she yelled loudly, _"Entromorphus!"_ A loud bang sounded, and Malfoy fell to the floor, instantly turning into human-sized millipede.

Quickly, she grabbed her parchment, and walked back to the common room. Before entering, she made sure her Pureblood Mask of Indifference was in place, and walked in. People whistled. There was a few catcalls.

"Did you do it?" Daphne asked, disgusted.

"Do what?" Astoria asked innocently.

"Kiss him, you idiot!"

"No!" She scoffed. "Why would I kiss a bug like him?" She made sure her tone was full of disgust, so everyone would believe her.

"Bug?" Crabbe asked, stupidly.

"Yes, Crabbe. A bug. If you lovely people would go out and laugh at him, before he changes back, that would be wonderful. And if anyone has a camera, please take me a picture!" A few people got it before the others, and bolted out the door, laughing. Then the rest got it, and followed suit.

Astoria laughed, and went upstairs to her dormitory. There, she collapsed on her bed, and sighed in relief. Her secret was safe.

Just to make sure, she walked over to her trunk, and pulled out the false bottom. The rolls of paper were still there, all wrapped up.

She tried to remember when she had started her current homework policy. It had to have been about a week or two after Sorting. She had been tired of being looked at in the hall, gossiped about behind her back.

She had started looking down in the halls, hiding her eyes, with long bangs across her face. But people continued to notice her. After receiving back yet another roll of parchment with an O on it, she realized that no one else had received the same grade.

So she had decided to stop turning in all of her homework. A perfectionist at heart, Astoria devised a system. Her schedule spelled out the word NO.

For the papers she did turn in, she wrote two different ones. One, to turn in, was dumbed down, repetitive, short, basically a copy of her classmates. The other, because she had way too much time, was about the same subject, but at her regular caliber of work.

She didn't know exactly what she would do with all of these extra papers; sometimes she dreamed of turning them in at the end of her 7 years, to shock the Headmaster, who watched her all too often.

But, when she was being practical, she knew she would probably burn them, or otherwise dispose of them after she was done with her schooling.

0o0o0o0oo0o

This one is shorter. But, I'm pretty proud of myself for getting it out the next day! It was probably because of all the lovely responses I got….

You know what that means, right? More lovely responses=Faster Chapters! (Blackmail, I know, feel free to turn me into a bug!)

All the incantations used in this story are real spells (unless I say otherwise). I /may/ have gone a little crazy this summer, and compiled a list of the spells/jinxes/charms, etc. used in the books/movies/video games…... (If you would like a copy, feel free to pm me!)

So anyway, hope you like it!

~Rose


	3. Fourth Year: Dumbledore's Funeral

Ah! I was totally going to update yesterday, but when I went to write the chapter, Astoria wouldn't behave! It was going to be during the battle with the Death Eaters where Dumbledore dies, but it wasn't working.

So, I'll just tell you what she does. Basically, she prevents the Slytherins from fighting, and wakes up the older Gryffindors. Then she stands guard, and doesn't let any of the younger children fight.

This oneshot happens at Dumbledore's funeral. And it is really short. And contemplative. And it isn't my favorite. But it had to happen. And I'm writing the next chapter right now, so don't get mad at me!

0o0o0o0o0o0

**Fourth Year, HBP**

Astoria sat in the crowd of people here for Dumbledore's funeral, and wondered what she was doing there.

It wasn't as if she was she was a favorite, like the Golden Trio and the Gryffindors, or a good student like the Ravenclaws. She wasn't loyal, like the Hufflepuffs. In fact, she was the only Slytherin in the crowd.

It must be some sort of guilt. That must be the only reason she was there. After all, she was a Slytherin, a Greengrass, a Pureblood.

People like her didn't actually care about people like Dumbledore. That must mean she didn't. Right?

But no. She did care. And that scared Astoria to bits. She had always felt that she was… somewhat different than her sister, her parents, her relatives.

A loner. A hidden black sheep.

Astoria shuddered.

'Black' sheep. Both of the disowned Purebloods in recent memory had been Blacks. Sirius and Andromeda.

She wondered why they did it. What was worth being cast away from your family forever? Granted, Pureblood parents weren't the nicest, but they were family! There was always a sense of 'I belong here.'

Astoria had never had real 'friends', but she suspected that some friendships could make you feel as if you belonged. After all, didn't Sirius rebel for his friends?

Astoria wondered what, if anything, could make her rebel. Not friends, she didn't have any. Not love, she didn't even 'like' anyone!

Hm. She knew she didn't want to be a Death Eater. She didn't want anything to do with Death Eaters. But, if the Dark Lord tried to make her one, she might rebel. She didn't believe in the same things they did. She didn't believe that all Purebloods are right, and muggleborns were evil. She didn't think they were morally superior.

Unlike her parents. She didn't agree with her Parents!

The thought frightened her, so she wrenched her attention back to the man who was speaking.

But he wasn't saying anything that reminded her of Dumbledore. The Dumbledore she had known had a good sense of humor (proven by the Golden Trio and the Weasley Twins), a great kindness ( shown through his love of teaching, and the care she saw in his eyes as he watched his students), but also a great sadness (she could see it in his eyes).

Although she hadn't known him personally, she had always thought he was smart, a genius in fact, but odd. She could tell, though, that he was odd because he thought it was fun.

The man far in front of her droned on, but she tuned him back out. He wasn't saying anything worth listening to, and she didn't want her small memories of Dumbledore to be ruined.

Finally, the man stopped talking.

Astoria gasped in wonder as the coffin burst into flame. She could hear the cries of a Phoenix, probably Fawkes, in the background, and began to cry.

What a fitting funeral for such a great man. She just wished she had known him better. Told him what she knew. He would have known what to do with the information.

Instead, she hadn't told anyone, afraid for herself, and watched events unfold.

Sitting there, attending Dumbledore's funeral, mourning his death, made Astoria realize something.

She was a horrible person.

And it was her fault one of the greatest wizards of all time was dead.

0o0o0o0o0o0

Hehe. Cliffhanger!

But don't worry, I'm writing the next chapter right now. So don't yell at me.

I know I warned you all off, but, now that you are all GONE, i'm telling you that I've fixed it a bunch. So no worries. after you are gone. Haha, brilliant Rose!

XOXO

~Rose


	4. Fourth Year: After the Funeral, Part One

Wow. I'm so lame. I update perfectly, and then I go and write a cliff-hanger, and leave my (remaining) readers alone for a few days. SORRY!

Oh, and the italics are her memories, sorry if it is confusing.

And, for the story's sake, her parents knew about the plot. I know that's a bit AU, but my ff, right?

0o0o0o0o0o0

**Fourth Year, HBP**

Astoria didn't know how she got there, but she ended up in her dormitory. She also didn't know how she managed to sleep for a while, but she guessed if she looked in her trunk, her vial of sleeping potion would be gone.

All Astoria knew now was that she need to get outside. She couldn't stand to be inside, in the stuffy Hogwarts dormitory.

So she walked up to her normal after-curfew hangout. The top of the Astronomy tower. Tonight there were no couples snogging in the corners, but Astoria's dazed mind couldn't quite process why.

She was hoping the crisp night air would clear her head, and thus, her thought processes.

She unlocked the door to the astronomy tower, and went outside. As soon as the door opened, a whoosh of cold air rushed straight through her brain, waking her up, taking some of the fogginess. The rest was from grief.

She walked to the ledge, and leaned over. Hogwarts grounds were beautiful at night.

Looking back at the open door, and hallway she had just walked through, Astoria wondered why there were spell remnants on the walls. What were they from?

Then she remembered, and it felt like someone had punched her in the gut.

The fight. Death Eaters had been fighting with Order members, that's what they were from.

And, this tower… was the one…

Astoria whirled around, and stared at the ledge. The innocent looking ledge.

That ledge was the one Dumbledore fell from after the Avada curse. Dumbledore had died right here, and the girl who could have saved him had just decided to come visit it.

Something clicked in Astoria's grief stricken mind.

Dumbledore must have called her up here. There was something she had to do.

What was it?

She walked back over to the ledge, peered down into the darkness, the darkness that Dumbledore had fallen into the night Severus Snape killed him.

She leaned farther over the ledge, supporting herself with her hand. She thought she saw something.

Right when she was about to get a good look at the thing, her arm gave out.

Her top half fell onto the cold stone.

The cold stone felt wonderful. Astoria wished she was stone. Stone didn't have any feelings, stone didn't notice things it shouldn't….

Astoria still remembered that night, the first important one, when she had overheard her parents talking about Death Eater things. She had been hiding, reading a book.

_She wasn't interested until they said someone was going to be Hogwarts. That caught her interest, her school, right?_

_So she listened carefully as her parents cackled about doing "it right under their noses." They hadn't said __what__ they were doing, though._

So she waited, and bided her time until Hogwarts started again.

_She began watching everyone. The older students, the teachers, anyone that might be suspicious. _

_One teacher caught her eye. Mad Eye Moody. He was extremely frightening in their DADA classes._

_One of the first classes, he had shown everyone what all of the Unforgivable Curses looked like. Supposedly, he had tried to teach all of the 4__th__ year and above how to throw off the Imperius curse, with mixed results. _

_Astoria would have liked to have tried it as well, but he hadn't done it with the 2__nd__ years._

_He had always seemed skittish, and on his guard. And he always drank out of his personal flask._

_Supposedly, these were all usual traits for him, but Astoria also realized how perfect these traits were for hiding Polyjuice potion._

_So she watched him harder. He had made his flask un-summonable, so she couldn't see what was inside it. _

_She tried everything she could think of to see if he was what she thought he was, but nothing worked._

_She had practically decided to give up, when he asked her to see him in his office after her last class. She didn't know what he wanted, probably something to do with her abysmal essays she was turning in, on purpose, but she wasn't sure._

_After her class, she walked to his office, and knocked quietly on the door. _

"_Come in." He had growled._

_As she walked in, she had looked around. There were various dark-detectors, and more normal office things, and bottles._

_He had an entire cupboard of potion vials. Some were full, some were empty. Why did he have so many potions on public display? Surely someone would notice that they were all Polyjuice! _

_But when she walked closer, she saw that he was smarter than that. Most of them weren't Polyjuice. And some of them were probably glamoured to look like something else…_

"_Interested in my potions, girl?" His voice came from the desk in the corner. She turned to face him, and he had an interesting facial expression. A variation on Malfoy's 'I know something you don't know!' face. Interesting._

"_Yes, Professor." She kept her eyes down. She wasn't sure if he had identified her as a Greengrass or not, so she did it just do be safe. When he had asked her to stay after class, he had just pointed at her…_

"_So, Greengrass…" He chuckled when she looked up, slightly surprised. "Is this essay a habit of yours?"_

_What was he talking about?_

_Some surprise must have shown on her face, because he looked down at her essay and read "An Essay on You-Know-Who's Uses of the Imperius Curse, by Astoria Greengrass, NOT TO BE TURNED IN."_

_NOT TO…. Oh shoot! Bloody dragon's balls, she had accidently turned in the wrong one! She had never done that before! How had she done it this time? _

_And this was an especially bad one to accidentally turn in, especially because of who he might be! She had put her honest thoughts in this one! Someone need to CAST this teacher to the fiery pits of the underworld!_

_She was trying to calm down enough to speak, to protest her innocence, when he laughed, and said "I assume it was a mistake then. Tell me, Greengrass, why shouldn't I give this to Dumbledore?"_

_Dumbledore? He couldn't, she would be ruined! Before she could think of a proper reply, her mouth opened, and said of its own accord, "Shall I tell him why you have so much Polyjuice then?"_

_Before she even registered that he had moved, she found herself slammed up against the wall, a wand at her throat._

"_How. Do. You. Know?" He snarled, inches away from her face. _

_She tried to speak, to tell him why, but her windpipe was too restricted, she could only cough._

_He pulled his wand back just enough to let her get some air. "I, I, My parents are Death Eaters!" She stammered._

"_So __they__ told you?" He asked dangerously._

"_No! They just said, someone, was going to come, so I watched…"_

"_Who have you told?" He demanded. She shook her head acting even more terrified than before. She didn't want him to notice as she pulled out her wand, and vanished her troublesome essay._

"_WHO have you TOLD?" He demanded, louder._

"_No, no one!"_

"_You swear?"_

_She nodded. He backed up, letting go of her, and walking back to his desk. Right before he got there, he whirled around, and cast a quick truth spell._

"_Say it again!"_

_Astoria understood. He wasn't taking any chances that she could have told anyone._

"_I, I didn't tell anyone." She said, swallowing. She didn't like what the truth spell felt like. _

_He nodded, and went back to his desk, and sat down. "You're a tricky one, Greengrass. But you better watch your step…" He ended, gesturing at her essay, or at least, where it used to be. _

_When he looked at her, wondering what she had done to it, she smiled in a way that was reminiscent of Bellatrix. _

"_You don't have any proof anymore." She said, explaining why she had vanished the parchment. "Now we both have a secret to keep."_

_He laughed at her audacious suggestion. Then he shook his head. She knew it was a long shot, but she had tried it anyway. _

_She didn't like the idea of her memories being stolen, but that's was what he needed to do to protect his secret._

"_That's not going to work, Greengrass. But, because you have some gall, I won't tell Dumbledore."_

_That was more than she had hoped. So she closed her eyes, and stood stock still as the imposter Moody pointed his wand at her, and said "Obliviate."_

For some reason, she still wasn't sure, her memory of this occasion returned after the man died.

She still hadn't gone to Dumbledore.

If she had just gone to Dumbledore with her suspicions earlier, Dumbledore would have been able to prevent the fake Moody from resurrecting the Dark Lord!

So, in a way, it was her fault the Dark Lord was back.

But that wasn't all.

This year, she had known that Malfoy was trying to kill Dumbledore. Through her parents, she had known that the Dark Lord wanted Dumbledore dead.

And she hadn't said anything.

She had known the Death Eaters were in the castle, and instead of running and warning Dumbledore, she had stopped any more Slytherins from getting out of the common room. She hadn't even taken into account that all the Death Eater supporters would already be out of bed.

Then, after she had done that, she hadn't even fought. She had just stopped other people when they had more courage than her, and wanted to fight.

She was a coward.

And it was all her fault.

In Astoria's clouded sense of mind, she didn't realize how twisted her logic was. She was too grief stricken to think right.

Astoria still lay across the stone, thinking.

Then she looked down at the ground again. Such a long ways away. Dumbledore had fallen from here, hadn't he?

Did Dumbledore blame her for not telling him? Probably. That was why he had brought her up here. But he couldn't yell at her, tell her off. So why was she here?

She looked back down at the ground, the fog.

The fog outside matched the fog inside her head. The stuff that prevented her from figuring out what Dumbledore had wanted.

If she had been Dumbledore, she would hate herself. So Dumbledore must hate her.

Dumbledore….had fallen. From this tower, the one he had brought her up to. Did that mean?

Did… Dumbledore want her to fall? It would be nice, to just let go, welcome the fog, the darkness.

She wouldn't have to think anymore, wouldn't have to see things that she shouldn't.

She had seen way too much. She didn't want to see anything anymore. She didn't want to listen the Slytherins talking about how it was a good riddance 'the old coot' was gone. She didn't want to see the Gryffindors glares whenever they passed a Slytherin. She was tired of the people. She was tired of everything.

Suddenly, letting go of everything seemed a good idea indeed.

It wasn't as if anyone would care. Her family didn't really care, she didn't have any friends, none of the teachers knew who she was. The only person who would care would have been Dumbledore, sad to have a student commit suicide at his school.

Commit suicide. It sounded so… final. But that's what letting go was.

Without her even telling it to, her body had stood up on the ledge of the tower. The highest tower at Hogwarts.

Should she? Was this actually what Dumbledore had wanted? Or had she just been imagining things?

As Astoria was having second thoughts, her foot slipped. Her body tumbled forward.

She was falling… Falling into the welcoming fog. Into the blackness.

Oh well. She might as well embrace the inevitable. She was going to die. There was nothing she could do about it.

And suddenly, it didn't seem such a bad thing anymore.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Astoria opened her eyes, then shut them because it was much too bright. Where was she?

Is this what happened after someone died?

It was strange, but she wasn't in any pain. That had to mean she was dead, right? Because people didn't fall from tall heights with no injuries…

She tried to move, to sit up or turn over. She was prevented by soft cloth ropes attached to her wrists.

What? Did they tie you up in the afterlife?

She tried to pull her wrists from underneath the ropes, but it didn't work.

She finally opened her eyes back up, and sat up as much as she could, and looked around.

She was lying in a bed covered in white sheets. There was a paper screen around the bed, preventing her from seeing anything else.

She didn't want to be tied up. She didn't want to be here, wherever here was.

Astoria growled, and attempted to wrench her wrists from the ropes again. It didn't work.

But she did hear a voice.

It sounded, strangely enough, like Madam Pomfrey's, the Hogwarts nurse.

"Hm. The patient seems to have awakened. Will you…. Just in case she…"

"I guess." That voice sounded… like Malfoy… what was he doing here?

Could she possibly…

Astoria looked down at herself, expecting to see bandages, and maybe some dried blood. Nothing.

She was still wearing the Hogwarts robes she had fallen in.

Very strange.

Just then, the paper barrier moved aside, And Malfoy walked around it, followed by Madam Pomfrey.

But, that meant….

She must have been caught somehow… She knew that she had fallen, but somehow she was in the Hogwarts Hospital Wing.

"Child, do you know why you are here?" Madam Pomfrey asked gently.

"I, I fell…" Astoria's voice cracked. She didn't think she had used it at all that day.

"You fell?" Malfoy asked incredulously.

"Yes. I did." Looking at Madam Pomfrey, Astoria continued "Are you going to remove these ropes?"

"It depends. Are you going to attempt to kill yourself again?" Pomfrey asked bluntly.

"Again? And pray tell, what would I kill myself with?" Astoria had decided on her story, and she was sticking to it. She had already recovered her frosty Pureblood disposition.

On the inside, she was torn apart and bleeding, but none of that was apparent to anyone looking on. And that was the way she wanted it.

"I will remove them. But you will need to stay the night. And the rest of the day. I am going to write to your parents as well."

NO! She couldn't write to her parents! There was no way she could explain this. Her parents could never know. That was unacceptable.

Madam Pomfrey turned to leave, after vanishing the ropes. As soon as the ropes were gone, Astoria lunged up, and tried to stop Pomfrey from leaving, but her legs collapsed.

Malfoy lunged and caught her, much to Astoria's surprise. Madam Pomfrey had turned back around, so Astoria barely gave it a moment's thought.

"Please!" That sounded too weak, so Astoria cleared her throat and continued, "Don't write to my parents. They can't know."

"Child, you just…"

Astoria cut her off. "They won't understand. They can't know. Please! I'll do anything!" Astoria's fragile control all but vanished.

"Alright child! Get back into that bed, and don't get up again until I say so."

Astoria sighed in relief, and turned back to the bed. Malfoy, who had been holding her up without her realizing, let go of her in a hurry.

Pomfrey eyed her as she climbed back under the covers.

"Would you like to talk about it, child?" Madam Pomfrey asked gently.

Talk about it? NO! There was no way she was doing that!

"No." Astoria said, and turned away from Malfoy and the nurse.

She assumed that both walked away, because she heard footsteps fading away, and then nothing.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

This chapter isn't done yet, but I hadn't updated in a few days, and it was getting too long. So this is part one! Don't worry, the second part is almost written, so it won't be long.

If there is even anyone reading this but The Pennigerous Owl then please review, and let me know I haven't scared you off!

Thanks!

~Rose


	5. Fourth Year: After the Funeral, Part Two

Part Two! I hoped you guys liked part one, and like this one as well! This one gets fluffy at the end, warning!

0o0o0o0o0o0

Before, on Part Two:

"Would you like to talk about it, child?" Madam Pomfrey asked gently.

Talk about it? NO! There was no way she was doing that!

"No." Astoria said, and turned away from Malfoy and the nurse.

She assumed that both walked away, because she heard footsteps fading away, and then nothing.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Astoria thought about everything that had been happening, and it seemed like a dam broke.

She began to cry in her pillow, making sure to make no noise, so that Madam Pomfrey wouldn't come back.

"Astoria, why are you crying?"

Great. Malfoy had stayed, and what was more, he had heard her moment of weakness! What could she do now? Her mind was still foggy, and she couldn't think right. Perhaps Madam Pomfrey had a potion that would clear it?

That was it! Malfoy would go away, and…

"I can't think straight."

"That's why you are crying? Merlin, Greengrass!"

"Bugger off, Malfoy. Or better yet, go ask Madam Pomfrey for some head-clearing potion."

"Alright." She heard him get up, and his footsteps fade away.

Suddenly Astoria didn't want to be in the Hospital Wing anymore. She didn't want to be here, where Malfoy and Madam Pomfrey were watching. She wanted to be alone.

Without thinking about it (because her body did that entirely too much these days) Astoria got out of the bed, and stood up.

She looked around for Malfoy, but she didn't see him. Revelling in her new-found freedom, Astoria skipped to the Hospital Wing door, only to find it locked.

She wrenched at it, before sticking her hand into her pocket for her wand. It wasn't there. It was probably still at the top of the Astronomy Tower. She needed to go get it! Astoria pulled on the door again.

Just then, a hand came into her hand of vision, covering her hand, preventing her from pulling on the door.

Immediately, she stood stock still, attempting to call up her Pureblood Mask of Indifference. It came, but was very fragile. Astoria knew that she couldn't last long in a discussion with Malfoy.

Why couldn't he have just left her alone?

"Hands off, Malfoy." She growled.

"Trying to run away again?" He reciprocated

"Again?" Astoria asked, turning around to face him, effectively making him let go.

He was much too close to her.

"Why do you think you woke up …"

"That's why I was tied?" Astoria interrupted.

He had a vial in his hand. Did he actually get a potion?

"What's that?" She asked, indicating the vial.

"It's your potion! Pomfrey asked me to give it to you."

Malfoy's face made Astoria suspicious. There was something he wasn't telling her, and she didn't want to find out what it was.

"Thanks, but I think I'm fine now. I think I'll just go sleep now…" Astoria tried to walk past him to get to her hospital bed.

He let her walk past, then put his arm around her waist, and pulled her closer to him. When Astoria opened her mouth to yell at him, he poured the potion down her throat.

The potion had rolled down her throat as slimy as frog. Once it was all down, Astoria felt her mental walls slipping down.

What was happening? Was this some trick of Malfoy's?

She all-of-the-sudden felt very naked. She didn't have anything to hide behind, she didn't have any barriers between her and the world. And she hated it.

As soon as Astoria realized what the potion had done to her, she slumped to the ground, through Malfoy's hold, the latter being too surprised to catch her.

"Greengrass?" Malfoy asked worriedly. He was very confused, and didn't know what to do. Obviously he hadn't expected her reaction.

Malfoy was worried about her? That was weird.

Astoria knew she should respond to him, so he didn't think she was dead, but she didn't want too. She was afraid she might say something that she didn't want to.

"Greengrass! Are you alright?" Malfoy asked again.

That made her extremely mad. Alright? After he had force-fed her a potion that he didn't know what it would do?

Before she even thought about it, she said "Alright? Are you joking? You just fed me some potion that you didn't even know what it would do, and you are asking if I am alright?"

She really just wanted him to go away, she was too afraid of what she would say to him if he didn't, so she said "Please, just leave me alone, Malfoy."

That hadn't come out like she meant it to! Her voice had gotten really quiet, and weak. She didn't sound like herself at all… And that wasn't what she meant to say!

Malfoy just chuckled at her. "No, I'm not going to be ordered around by you, even if I did just feed you a random potion. Here, I'll help you up, then I am going to ask Pomfrey what exactly that was!" At this, he reached down, and grabbed her arm, lifting her up.

Astoria couldn't help noticing how strong he was, as he picked her up off the floor. Wait, what? THAT wasn't right. She wasn't supposed to think about MALFOY that way! What was wrong with her? Had she been fed a love potion?

As soon as she was standing up, she shrugged off his arm and walked towards her bed. Until she knew what that potion did, she wasn't going to let Malfoy touch her any more than she had too.

Malfoy walked away, presumably to ask Madam Pomfrey, Astoria didn't want to care.

She sunk into the soft mattress gratefully. She wasn't sure what to do with herself, she felt so strange.

She felt like there wasn't anything between her and the world, nothing to keep her from being sucked up by the huge expanse of the world. It was very intimidating, she felt so small.

"Er, Greengrass?" Malfoy was back.

"What? What could you want now?" Astoria spat at him, taking out her anger at what the potion had done to her at him. Now she felt bad.

"I, I'm sorry. That was uncalled for." Her traitorous mouth apologized.

Malfoy gaped at her. Astoria gaped at herself! She never apologized! Especially to Malfoy!

"Did, you just…apologize, Greengrass?" Malfoy asked curiously. "I guess Pomfrey was right…." He mused, mostly to himself.

"What did she say?" Astoria asked pointedly, trying to cover up her previous mistake.

"Er, the potion, well, you did ask for a potion to clear your mind!"

She just looked at him.

"It 'lowers your mental walls', and 'releases your inhibitions'. She wanted you to talk it out…" Malfoy tried to explain.

If Astoria had been standing she would have sat down. Released her inhibitions? Lowered her walls? She didn't want that! Especially with Malfoy here. She didn't want to talk to anyone! She just wanted to wallow in her grief alone! She didn't talk to people. That wasn't her.

"With you?" She meant to say it acidly, but it came out hopeful. That wasn't what she meant!

Malfoy looked slightly confused.

"Oh, Merlin, I can't do this, Malfoy! I don't talk to people! You know that!" He nodded. "When does it end?" Hopefully it was soon or something.

"Tomorrow."

Astoria groaned.

"Don't worry, Greengrass, I don't mind. I know you are desperately in love with me, you can admit it…." Malfoy said, and smirked.

"You idiot. YOU are the one in love with me!"

"Hey that's not nice! You aren't supposed to call me an idiot when you can't control what you are saying!"

Astoria, who had been feeling a bit better, blanched. "Can't control what I say?" She repeated.

"Er, that's not what I meant. Basically if you try to say something you don't believe, you can't. So sort of. But you can control what you say, just don't lie!"

"Oh. That's a bit better. But that doesn't mean I really want to talk to you…" Astoria was startled. That wasn't what she meant to say at all! She had meant to say that there was no way she wanted to talk to him…. Oops.

Apparently she did want to talk… Astoria sort of understood. She had always envied people their laughing confidences with their friends…

"Hmm. Didn't come out the way you meant it, Greengrass?"

"Don't call me that. You make me sound like a hill." Now Astoria's rational part of her mind was really confused. A hill? She guessed, because hills had green grass…

"A hill? I guess… What do I call you then?"

"Astoria."

"Oh. Okay…. Astoria." Malfoy said her name as if he was tasting the new words on his tongue. "But only if you call me Draco."

"Only for tonight. And after tonight, tonight never happened. Okay, Draco?" She had never called him that. It was strange. He had always 'Malfoy' to her, she knew he had a first name, but never dreamed she would call him that.

Malfoy looked slightly crestfallen, but surrendered quickly. "Alright, it's a deal."

He settled into the armchair near her bed. She wrapped the sheets around her, as a barrier between her and the world.

"Why did you do it?" His question distracted her from her thoughts.

"Do what?"

"Jump." She hadn't jumped! Why didn't they believe her?

"I didn't." Maybe he would believe her this time.

"You didn't?" He asked, incredulous.

"Listen, Mal…Draco, if you want to talk about this, then can you please go get some more of that potion from Madam Pomfrey? I don't want to be the only one not in control of my mouth…."

"No." He said bluntly. She looked up at him, surprised. Then she waited. He would explain himself.

"I have too many things I don't want to slip out. Just you tonight, Gre….Astoria."

"Oh." She really didn't want to talk now. The embarrassment of saying something she hadn't meant was not something she wanted to go through again. And besides, she was no light hearted innocent either!

Tonight was not something she wanted to talk about! It wasn't something anyone would understand.

"I didn't have a choice, Draco." She said quietly. He got to choose whether he wanted to take the potion. She got it stuffed down her throat.

"I'm sorry, Astoria. I didn't know what it would do."

"Really? Then why did you have your 'I Know Something You Don't Know' face on?" She hadn't meant to mention that!

"Why do I have the funny feeling that that was all in capitals?" Draco asked sarcastically.

"Er, 'cause it was?" She said timidly.

"I don't remember using 'that face' with you, Astoria. When did I do that?" Draco was pushing for something, and Astoria had the funny feeling that she knew what it was.

"You, you did it when, I, I'm sorry! I couldn't let you remember!" She said frantically, which wasn't how she wanted it to come out. AND she hadn't wanted to admit it.

Once she was out of the Hospital Wing, Astoria planned to find the inventor of this potion, and drown them in it! Even if they were already dead!

"You obliviated me?" Draco asked quietly.

"Yes." Astoria admitted.

"Why?" He demanded

"You tried to blackmail me! And, oh, I don't want to talk about this!" If she wasn't careful, she was going to blurt out all of her secrets at once!

"Fine."

Did he really just let that go without a fight? "Thanks." She said.

He just nodded. "Why did you almost jump, then?"

No. She wasn't going to answer. If she lied, she would tell the truth. If she told the truth, but she couldn't do that! She didn't want to talk about it with anyone!

While her heart was in turmoil, her traitorous mouth opened, and said:

"It's all my fault."

NO! She didn't just say that! She had to get out of here. She couldn't do this. She couldn't talk to Draco anymore. She had to find some way out of this place!

As Astoria panicked, she simultaneously ran to the door and tried to pull it open, again. When it wouldn't open, she used all her weight against the door handle, trying to get through. It didn't work. She backed up, preparing to throw herself against the door, acting irrationally in her hysteria.

A pair of cool hands wrapped themselves around her wrists. She tried to wrench herself away, blinded with the need to get out. One hand let go, and before she could get away, the arm wrapped itself around her, pulling her into a body, holding her tight, as she repeatedly tried to jerk away.

Soft shushing noises permeated Astoria's hazed mind, clearing it. Immediately she stopped, and started sobbing instead.

The day had been so horrible, and her body kept rebelling, and she was showing all of her emotions to the one person who would use them against her, and everything was her fault, and she just wanted to rewind everything, but she knew that was impossible.

"Shh, Astoria, it's okay. You don't have to tell me, calm down. It's okay! I'm not going to hurt you, don't worry, it's okay! Please, just calm down. Breathe." Draco just kept talking to her in a soothing voice, as she calmed down. Soon enough, she stopped crying.

"Better?" Draco asked. Astoria nodded, but he didn't let go. His arms were still wrapped around her, her head was still buried as near to his shoulder as she could get.

It made an interesting picture. Two people, who until recently had been fighting all of the time, wrapped in each other's arms as if they were the only ones in the world.

Astoria felt better than she had in a while, here in Draco's arms. It was weird. She used to think she hated him.

There was a different feeling as well, standing her in Draco's arms. What was it? She was having a difficult time identifying it.

Oh. She felt safe, something she hadn't for a while.

Neither knew how long they stood there. It could have been minutes, it could have been hours. They were off in their own little world.

"Astoria, it's okay. You can tell me. Don't worry. It would be good to get it off your chest." Draco murmured.

So, for reasons Astoria never could explain, she began to tell Draco why she had almost jumped. And why she felt guilty.

Perhaps it was because she felt safe. Perhaps it was because of the potion. But, whatever the reason, Astoria finally confided in someone.

After she was done, Draco whistled. "Wow, Astoria. You are really good at blaming yourself!"

She pulled herself out of his arms, glaring. "Really? I pour my heart out to you, and that's what you say?"

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that, Astoria! But, think about it, okay…"

He lead her back to her bed, and sat her down on the edge of it, before sitting in the chair, facing her. "You aren't the only person that's to blame! Let's see…. Dumbledore! He should have realized there was something off about Moody. He shouldn't have let Moody place that cup. He should have realized Snape would kill him!"

"Don't blame him, Draco." Astoria growled.

"Okay, alright! It was an example! The teachers should have noticed. Other teachers should have been patrolling. There are so many people to blame! Everyone had a part in it. You can't blame yourself for everything."

"But, I should have told…"

Draco cut her off. "But you didn't! Besides, Dumbledore might not have even done something about it! You didn't know anything conclusive until that night, when he wiped your memory! Dumbledore trusts people too much…"

"He trusted you, didn't he?" She asked gently.

Draco, who had been leaning forwards, in her direction, because of how emphatic he was with his point. At her question, he recoiled backwards. "What do you mean?" He asked in a hard voice.

"Just that, he could have expelled you, or suspended you, he did know what you were doing! But he didn't. He trusted that you were a good enough person, that you wouldn't be able to do the deed! Didn't he?"

"I'm not talking about this."

Blasted boy. She poured her heart to him, and he tried to help her, but when she tried to reciprocate, he wouldn't say a bloody thing!

"Fine." She said. She wouldn't say anything else. It was his turn!

An awkward silence fell, both trying to outlast each other in the silent game. After a while, both gave up, and blurted, at the same time:

"Sorry, that was rude…" Malfoy said.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have…." Astoria said.

Both started laughing when they realized it had been a tie.

"Let's talk about something different…" Astoria said.

"Sure. Hmm. Quidditch?" Draco offered.

"What do you think about the Chudley Cannons?" Astoria asked.

They chatted about Quidditch for a while, but Astoria began to yawn more and more. After the last one, Draco said, laughing, "I think you should get some sleep!"

She began to crawl under her covers, not even arguing. Draco turned to leave.

"Draco?"

"Yes?" He said, turning around.

"Will you stay?" She asked.

"Ah, the torture of the comfy chair!" He said jokingly, walking back to the armchair he had just vacated.

"No, I mean, here…" Astoria said softly, patting the bed next to her.

He looked at her, confused. What was she talking about?

"Will you just, hold me?"

Draco nodded, not saying anything more. He walked over to the bed, and sat down, pulling her against him. She sighed in contentment, and closed her eyes.

Neither knew why they had reacted the ways they had tonight. Neither mentioned the morning. Neither knew what it was going to be like between them, but for right now, both were content to live in the moment, in each other's arms.

0o0o0o0o0o0

Aww, I love these two! I was only planning to make this a one-shot, but now I have to write another chapter! A three-shot instead!

Oh, and Astoria's 6th year is where most of the drama happens. They aren't together yet, people!

And yes, I did just make two different references. Brownie points/Snaps/Kudos/House Points to the individual/s that can tell me one or both! (I stole a bit of the scene, as some people will know. NO COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT INTENDED! I loved it too much, sorry!)

Hope you guys liked it!

~Rose


	6. Fourth Year: Obliviation

Well, now that midterms are over… I can update more! Sorry about that, my readers. And if you hate me now, feel free to leave a review telling me that!

**Fourth Year, HBP**

Astoria woke up slowly, feeling….funny. She couldn't place it.

She felt… safe.

Waking up farther, Astoria moved to stretch, wondering why she had slept sitting up, when she felt an arm pull her closer to a body.

What the hell?

She looked over, and saw the peaceful, sleeping face of Draco Malfoy. It all came rushing back to her, how she had climbed, her fall, how Draco had…drugged her, and how she had confessed everything to him, and then asked him to stay.

She had asked him to stay?

He looked so…innocent when he was asleep, her traitorous consciousness told her.

No! She couldn't think of him that way. She needed to be thinking of a way to remedy the situation! Oh, how she wished he would just forget the whole thing!

Forget.

There was a way to do that. And it wasn't that hard. And yet, she felt a strange reticence to do it, regardless of the fact that she had already done it to him once.

No. She had to do it. Nothing else would protect her. Draco couldn't remember what he had been told that night, and… perhaps he would forget about this silly notion of caring for her as well…

But how to do it? She didn't have her wand… but he had one! Where was it?

In his pocket, of course.

So Astoria reached over his sleeping body, into his left pocket, where she could see his wand peeking out. Praying that he wouldn't wake up, she pulled it out slowly.

He didn't wake up. Thank Merlin.

Now, to get her wand.

"Accio wand." She whispered quietly, the feel of an unfamiliar wood in her palm unsettling her.

It seemed to take forever, but eventually she saw her wand float up to a cracked-open window, and fly into her hand.

Holding her own wand immediately made her feel better.

Astoria took a deep breath, preparing herself to perform the memory charm.

She leveled her wand at his face, and took a step closer to him. Unfortunately, the wood floor under her decided to creak.

She winced, hoping beyond hope that Draco would not wake up.

No such luck. The sound roused Draco just enough for him to open his eyes a crack, enough to see a wand pointed at his face.

Seeing this, he immediately reacted with battle nerves, and swung his legs off the bed, while simultaneously knocking her wand out of her hand, and shoving her away from him.

Astoria went flying, and hit the floor with a thud, breath knocked out of her.

Malfoy, now fully awake, swore. "Dammit, Astoria, what in Merlin's name do you think you were doing?" As he berated her, he stuck out a hand, and pulled her up. "You… I didn't hurt you, did I?"

"No." She said shortly, and stepped away from him.

"Er," he said, confused, "What were you doing?" With his signature smirk, he continued, "I'm perfectly okay with you staring at my gorgeous face while I sleep, but a wand? Really?"

"In your dreams! I wasn't staring at you!"

"Haven't I told you Astoria, that my dreams about you are..."

"Yes, yes I know!" She interrupted, her cheeks slightly pink. She hadn't had a problem with him saying that before, she hadn't thought he could ever mean it! But now…

Draco looked at her curiously. "You… have you ever even snogged anyone, Astoria?"

"I, How, Don't call me that!" She snapped, horrified, and angry.

He looked at her in disbelief. Then his face contorted into anger. "Really? You are going to pull the trick again?"

"I don't know what you are talking about." Astoria said, primly.

"Like hell you don't! You were…. That's why you had a wand. You were going to Obliviate me, again!" He was rather furious now.

Again? He wasn't supposed to know she had done it before! Oh, right, she had told him, along with a million other embarrassing things last night. All the more reason to erase it, then!

"Of course." She was going to keep control of her emotions, even if Dra…Malfoy didn't!

"I really can't believe you!" Dra…Malfoy cried, running his hand through his platinum blond hair.

"What did you expect, after drugging me?" She asked, exasperated.

"I expected you not to run away again! I dunno, maybe I expected you to see that I could help you! That you could trust me, you could even have a friend for once!"

That stung.

"Run away? I am a Pureblooded Slytherin, and I do not run away. I cover my tracks! Help me? How? You are just as messed up as I am, actually, more! How could I trust you, you are just going to…" NO! She couldn't have been about to say that! That would be giving up her worst secret, and to Malfoy to boot! Never.

Before Malfoy realized that she was covering up, she continued "I don't have friends, Malfoy." He flinched at her use of his surname. "I don't need them."

"You are normally so logical." He said, shaking his head, although he was still angry. "Now you obviously can't think straight." Before she could protest, he continued "Pureblooded Slytherins run away all the time. I do admit I'm messed up, but I helped you last night, didn't I? And that last 'point' is the worst. Of course you need friends! You wouldn't have almost committed suicide if you had had some friends. You are clearly lonely."

"I don't need you, Malfoy." She said softly. Then she continued louder "Give me back my wand."

"No! I'd be a fool to do that."

"Give it back!" She said walking closer to him, threateningly.

"No. I'm not going to let you do something you will regret for the rest of your life."

"Right." She scoffed. "Like that would ever happen!"

In response, Malfoy just stepped closer. Before she realized what he was doing, he leaned his head down, and fit his lips to hers.

Stars seemed to go off in Astoria's brain as she tried to understand this new turn of events. Draco was snogging her, and she liked it!

Her body reacted without her telling it too, and snogged him back rather forcefully. His beautiful gray eyes widened, then he pulled her closer, wrapping his arms around her waist.

No! She couldn't be doing this! How dare her body betray her like this! How dare she… like it? No. She needed to get her wand, and wipe his memory… only then would she be safe!

While still snogging him, because her traitorous body didn't seem to want to stop, Astoria wrapped her arms around him. He had slept without his robe on, and had stuck her wand in his back pocket.

She slowly pulled his wand out of his pocket, just as she felt she was going to faint from lack of air.

He obviously felt the same, because he pulled away, and breathed in. "See?" He smirked.

See what? Oh that rat! She wasn't going to regret it all her life just because he was a good snog! He'd probably snogged loads of girls!

Although she was very mad, she just smiled. And pulled her wand out. "Accio Wand." She said.

He blanched as his wand came flying towards her from wherever she had dropped it.

"What? No, don't!"

She just smiled, and pointed her wand at him, after stepping a discreet distance away.

"Don't! I'll forget about it, I won't mention it…" Malfoy was talking, trying to convince her, and distract her at the same time.

Forget about it? How funny.

"Yes you will." She said with a sad smile. His face went even whiter.

"Astoria, I…"

"_Obliviate._" She said softly. Immediately, his face went slack. Then,

"Wha, what am I doing here?" He looked at her in confusion, trying to piece together what had been stolen from him.

"You came here last night, after casting a cushioning charm to save my life when I fell off the castle tower. Then, it was after curfew, so Madam Pomfrey had you sleep there." She said, pointing at a bed on the other side of the Hospital Wing from where they were standing. "We have just been arguing, I'm mad about the fact that you were the one who caught me. Oh, and if you tell anyone you caught me after I fell, I'm going to blackmail you."

Malfoy's face cleared, the false memory planted.

"Blackmail? Really? You would stoop that low, Greengrass?" He sneered.

Astoria sighed inwardly with relief, Malfoy didn't remember anything. And yet, there was a small bit of regret… no. She needed to get rid of that.

"Of course! The only reason you haven't done it, is that I haven't done anything!"

"Yah, you are definitely an innocent little angel!" He scoffed. "Well, now that I know, you better be nice to me, huh?"

She hadn't thought of that. Why couldn't she have just said she got sick or something?

He laughed when she didn't respond. "Blackmail works two ways, doesn't it, Greengrass?" He was rather delighted to have something to hold over her.

"It also works three!" She laughed, having thought of the solution.

He looked quizzically at her.

"Oh, right. I forgot I need to explain things more when I'm talking to idiots." She held up her hand to forestall any protests from the boy, and continued "If you try to blackmail me with it, or if it gets out, I will simply wipe your memory. Now do you understand?" She asked merrily.

His jaw dropped. He also looked slightly afraid.

"You wouldn't…"

"Don't look so shocked, I'm a Slytherin! Now get out. I don't want to see your ugly face in here right now!

Malfoy opened his mouth, about to argue about her ugly comment, but she leveled her wand at his face. Again.

"If you don't leave right now, I'm going to turn you into a bug. Again. Or…" Astoria trilled as a better idea came to her. "I could turn you into a ferret! You make an especially good one, I've heard…"

Malfoy didn't even stay to hear her finish talking, he left so fast.

As soon as Astoria was sure he was gone, she sunk back down on the bed.

She was tired of having so many secrets. She was tired of being the only one to know things. She was tired of pretending to be someone else. She was sick and tired of everything.

Maybe Draco was right, maybe she did need a friend…

NO! Malfoy was wrong, he didn't know her, and who was he kidding, offering to be her friend.

Friends were dangerous. They expected people to tell them all of their secrets, and were offended when the people didn't.

Astoria was strong. She could handle all of this without strain! She had to. No one else could know.

And this momentary weakness was just that, temporary. She would take another nap, and when she woke up, everything would be fine.

She would go back to being the invisible girl, the one who fought with Malfoy, and made him look like the git he was.

And yet, Astoria knew that he wasn't as much of a git in private as he was in public. Now, she knew most of that arrogance was a front, that there was almost a decent person underneath…

NO! She needed to stop thinking about him, and his expressive gray….STOP it! She needed a distraction…Potions! Wasn't there a paper….No. School was over.

Astoria sighed. Now she would return to the expansive Greengrass Manor, and watch her parents fuss over her sister, and see their open distain when they talked to her.

It wasn't all bad however. She could bury herself in books, and go on endless hippogriff rides, flying over the beautiful Greengrass lands…

That was just what she needed. All of this stress would go away, and she would forget about Malfoy.

When September came around again, well, Hogwarts would be just the same, and she would stay the invisible girl. Forever.

0o0o0o0o0o0

Please please please please review! It would make my week….

Anyway, I'm sorry about how long it took to get this up, I was rather busy.

This is the last oneshot in this year. Next year takes place during DH, and lots of things happen! Poor Astoria… you won't be invisible for long! Muahaha!

~Rose


	7. Sixth Year: Proper Purebloods

Oh my GOSH I have no idea why guys don't hate me. I take forever to update! But, I know what is happening next (sorta) and it's NaNoWriMo, so I will be writing more than otherwise! And this chapter was absolutely horrible, and I hate Severus Snape! (haha not really, but he and Dumbledore are SOOO hard to write! …I still don't think I did a very good job on Severus, feel free to agree with me.)

But anyway, if you are still with me, you are a godsend! Thank you!

~Rose

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

**Sixth Year (DH)**

The screams had started again.

They cut through Astoria's concentration, and straight into her head, reverberating until she felt she was going to go mad.

She wished, with all of her heart, that they would stop.

But she knew they wouldn't.

Astoria had expected something like to this to happen when she found out the Death Eaters had infiltrated the ministry.

When Harry Potter evaded capture, yet again, and hid behind powerful shields the Death Eaters couldn't get past, she knew the ministry was close to falling.

And then it fell.

But Potter evaded their every attempt to capture him, even when they invaded the Weasley's wedding.

So they took over Hogwarts, foolishly thinking he would come back. He didn't, but the muggleborns tried to.

She could still remember the cries as the new muggleborns, the ones who had never been to Hogwarts, were told they were criminals accused of stealing magic, and were arrested.

Some muggleborns, the older ones, fought, and were overpowered. 'I'm a witch, I tell you!' They would sob. 'No, my mother, she's a witch! Please, I didn't steal anything!'

None of the heartfelt pleas did anything to the Death Eaters. They were heartless.

Astoria didn't sleep any more than an hour or two now. Her nightmares were full of the screams of the muggleborns, blaming her. 'Why didn't you stop them? You should have done something, you should have helped me!'

And her dream self just watched horrified, trying to get words out, but failing as their terrible eyes watched her. 'I wouldn't have been able to do anything! I couldn't save you, I'm sorry!' She tried to tell them.

Then the others came, bloody, straight from the dungeons into her dreams. They came after her, with their searching fingers. 'You could have helped us. You should have helped us.' They would say, and still she could say nothing.

How could these muggleborns and half-bloods expect her to help them? Her safety should come first! She was safe, it was all their fault!

But in her heart of hearts, Astoria knew it wasn't their fault, and she could do something. But she was too much of a coward to do so.

After a month and a half, Astoria cracked. The other Slytherins had gotten used to the screams, some even enjoyed them. But she could not.

It was Malfoy's turn to administer the detention. He didn't seem to like it as much as the others did, but he never protested either.

Astoria watched him leave, face set, and she listened. A few minutes later, terrified screams wafted up from the dudgeons.

It was a 1st year, this time. A Hufflepuff. Astoria could just imagine the scene, Malfoy's wand pointing at the girl, the poor girl. All she knew of the wizarding world was terror.

Before Astoria knew what she was doing, she had thrown her quill down, and stood up.

Everyone was looking at her, wondering what had ruffled the silent girl. Most didn't even know her name.

Quick! She needed to cover! "I'm so sick of that…bat, McGonagall! If I have to do one more essay of hers on the dangers of transfiguration, I'm going to hang myself with it!" Astoria cried.

The common room laughed, and turned back to whatever they were doing, unconcerned. Anti-McGonagall tirades were normal in the Slytherin house.

Once everyone's attention was elsewhere, Astoria snuck out of the common room.

She wasn't going to rescue the poor girl. She wasn't brave enough for that. But she could do something that would put a twist in the Carrow's knickers.

As soon as she was out of sight, Astoria cast a dissolutionment charm on herself. It wouldn't due to be caught.

The screaming grew louder and louder as she came closer to the 'detention dudgeon and Astoria winced.

Soon enough, she reached the dudgeon. She stood there, staring at the intimidating door, trying to work up the courage.

"_Silencio_." Astoria whispered, pointing her wand at the stone walls of the dudgeon. Blessed silence fell. The screams of the poor girl could no longer be heard.

Astoria heaved a sigh of relief, before walking hurriedly away. It wouldn't do to be caught at the scene of her small rebellion. She didn't plan on being caught.

After taking the dissolutionment charm back off, Astoria went back into the common room.

Everyone was staring at her.

"What did you do?" Pansy practically shrieked at her.

"What? What do you mean?" Astoria asked, sounding very confused. "I went to the library! I had to return a book…"

"Likely story. You had to return a book, at the very same time the screams stopped?" Theodore Nott said suspiciously.

She had to cover, quickly. Nott was smart.

"The screams? Oh. Is that why the Gryffindors ran past me in such a hurry?"

Nott just looked at her, he wasn't convinced. Apparently the rest of them were, though, because they chuckled, and went back to whatever they were doing.

Astoria walked calmly to her accustomed seat near the fire, and summoned her homework to her.

0o0o0o0o0o0

It seemed like years later, when the Carrows came back. They looked around, and saw Nott.

"Nott, it's your turn! Those blood-traitors won't punish themselves, you know!" Alecto said gleefully.

Nott stood up, quietly. He walked over to them, and said "Alright. But one of you should stay here. We've been hearing some weird things." He didn't look in Astoria's direction, but she knew he was trying to give her away.

She never ever should have done it. They were going to find out, and she was going to be punished. Maybe even…. No. She was a pureblood, and Greengrass.

She would think up some pureblood-ish excuse, and maybe they would believe her. Even if they didn't, it didn't automatically make her a blood-traitor, and her parents would never let her be tortured. Wouldn't they?

"You're lucky I'm in a good mood, Nott." Alecto growled. "Or else I would take offence at you ordering us around…"

"Of course, professor." Nott agreed, and walked through the common room door, expected them to follow him.

Alecto shot him an aggrieved face, and followed.

Astoria decided it was a good time to pack up her stuff, and headed upstairs to her dormitory.

She listened at the top of the stairs, out of sight, waiting for something to happen.

After only about five minutes, Amycus started complaining. "What funny sounds? I don't hear nothin'!"

Astoria muffled a chuckle. Of course he didn't hear anything, that was the point!

After another long pause, Amycus complained again. "When's Nott gonna start wit' those kids?"

Astoria stuffed her hand in her mouth to keep from laughing. She didn't know why she was laughing; she was going to be in HUGE trouble if anyone found out…

Actually, her suppressed laughter had a sort of hysterical quality to it. That made more sense.

Who wouldn't be hysterical if they were just about to become the first blood-traitor in hundreds of years from the Greengrass family? It was the Blacks who had the tendency to rebel! Maybe her mother or father had had a secret affair…

No. She needed to calm down. She needed to breathe, and think. Now was not a time to be hysterical.

Astoria went into her dormitory. She didn't think that her secret would be out just yet, and even then, Amycus would have a hard time climbing up the slide…

Astoria giggled again, before stuffing a pillow over her face. The image of an overweight Amycus wind milling as the stairs turned to a slide beneath him…

No! She needed to concentrate! What was she going to do?

0o0o0o0o0o

After what seemed like hours, Astoria heard Alecto's and Nott's voices again, coming from the common room. She cast a quick spell, so she was able to hear what they were saying.

"Did you hear anything, professor?" That was Nott, the interfering Death Eater version of a busybody.

"I didn't hear anythin'! Did somethin' happen with the kid, Alecto?" Amycus asked.

"Oh no, the detention went wonderfully, Nott is very good at… wait. You didn't hear it?" Alecto asked curiously.

"Hear what?" Amycus asked stupidly.

"The screams, you idiot!"

"Er, no… Was I supposed to?" Astoria could just picture Amycus scratching his head.

"Yes! Who did it? Someone meddled with the dudgeon! Nott, you know something, that's why you made him stay here! What do you know? Tell me boy!" Alecto was practically screaming, her voice giddy with anticipation.

Astoria shuddered, here it came. She was practically shaking out of her skin!

"It was Greengrass." Nott said quietly.

"What?" Alecto screeched.

"No, not Daphne." Nott said hurriedly. Astoria had always thought he had a soft spot for her sister… "It was Astoria."

"Astoria? Who's that?" Alecto asked, inadvertently copying her brother's 'I don't know anything!' tone of voice.

"My sister? You are sure, Theo?" Daphne asked, in a regal tone which benefited a Slytherin. Astoria was really shaking now. She had never had a good relationship with her sister… but now, her sister would hate her! And Daphne hating someone never turned out well….

"I'm pretty sure… I'm sorry, Daphne."

"She could have a valid reason, couldn't she?" Daphne sounded kind of desperate. Astoria understood this, as she had just put the reputation of her family on the line. It was so much better of an idea before she had actually gone and done it!

"Well, where is the chit, Nott?" Alecto asked impatiently, ignoring Daphne.

"Probably upstairs." Daphne said quietly, after a pause.

Astoria really wanted to see Amycus' face as he tried to come up here…

"Well, what are you waiting for, Alecto?" Amycus asked impatiently. When she didn't respond, he shrugged, and walked determinately towards to dormitory stairs.

He was steping onto the first stair—Astoria could see him by now because of her vantage point—when Alecto called "Wait!" He didn't listen to her, and was hopping up the stairs, about 4 steps up, when the stairs turned to a slide.

Amycus' shocked face as he slid backwards was priceless, and Astoria had never wanted a camera more in her life than right then.

She struggled very hard to contain her laughter, but the other Slytherins did not. Evidently they had been watching.

Astoria sighed quietly. Now that everyone had seen, there was no way of modifying a few memories—namely Nott's—and forgetting about the whole thing.

Now she would have to face the music, and she had an audience.

"You blithering idiot! I told you to wait!" Alecto shouted at her brother.

"How was I supposed to know it would turn into a bloody slide?" Amycus bellowed back.

"Get out of my way, fool! I'll go get the girl!" Alecto said coldly, shoving Amycus aside.

Astoria ran into the nearest dormitory, magically shutting and locking her own. Let them be confused.

As soon as Alecto reached the top of the stairs—she was already breathing hard—her eyes lit up. A shut door, this would be fun!

Astoria chuckled, this would be interesting, Alecto was such a fool.

Alecto ran up to the shut door, and tried to turn the handle. It didn't work. "_Alohamora!_" She yelled, brandishing her wand at the door. It didn't open. Frustrated, Alecto pounded on the door and yelled even louder, "Greengrass! I know you're in there, get your filthy carcass out here!"

Astoria didn't make a noise, yet.

Alecto's face reddened even more, as she shrieked, "If you don't get out here this instant, I'm going to blow up this door!"

Astoria decided it was time to show herself, and walked out cooly to face Alecto, who's back was turned towards her.

"Really, professor, is that necessary? You've probably frightened the poor girl who is changing in there…" Astoria had her Pureblood mask in place, cool and collected. If they were going to make a fuss, they had better know who they were dealing with.

Alecto was still gaping at her like a fish. The Slytherin girls were all clustered on the staircase, watching.

"Please close your mouth, professor, you'll let flies in!" A couple of Slytherins guffawed at Astoria's tenacity, but quickly quieted when Alecto leveled a glare at them.

"How dare you, you filthy…" Alecto spat, right into Astoria's face.

Astoria calmly pulled a handkerchief out of her voluminous pockets, and wiped the spit off her face.

Then her face hardened and she said dangerously, "Filthy? May I remind you who I am, professor?" She pronounced the word professor as if it was a dirty word.

Which it was, when it applied to the Carrows.

"I am Astoria Greengrass. My blood is far cleaner than yours will ever be." Astoria used her most regal, pureblood tone to deliver this insult.

Alecto growled at her. "How dare you…"

"You will find, professor..." Again it was a dirty word, "That I dare many things, as long as they are to my advantage."

Astoria swept towards the stairs, leaving Alecto stunned behind her. As she reached the group of girls, they all scattered, as if she had they plague, staring at her in a mix of admiration and disgust.

As she rounded the curve in the stairs, she watched people's expressions when they realized who she was.

Amycus, who had been sitting in an armchair, leapt up and pointed his wand directly at her face. "What did you do to Alecto?"

"I? I did nothing. Though I must admit, the professor's goldfish impression is rather hilarious…" Amycus looked at her, trying to understand. "Don't worry, professor." Again she pronounced the word as if it were dirty. "I expect she will be down in a second."

Not even 5 seconds went by before everyone heard Alecto's furious screeching as she rounded the corner.

"Greengrass, WHAT have you been doing in the dudgeons?"

"Doing in the dungeons? professor, I'm sure you have the wrong person." Astoria held up her hands to forestall the protests. "No one in Hogwarts is attractive enough to convince me to freeze just for a makeout session…"

The Slytherins who had been gawking laughed. Nott, Amycus, and Alecto all snarled at her, at the same time. If Astoria hadn't have been so stressed, she might have found it funny.

"That's not what I am talking about, Greengrass! What did you do to the dudgeon?" Alecto was very mad by now. It wasn't often that students made a laughingstock of her without being immediately attacked.

"Oh, that." Astoria said languidly. "You mean the silencing spell?"

"So you admit it?" Nott said hurriedly, hoping to catch her.

"I never said I didn't." Astoria said. When Nott tried to protest, she continued talking. "You just aren't smart enough to keep up with me." Nott's face went bright red.

"You didn't think you would get caught, blood-traitor?" Amycus said threateningly.

"Blood-traitor?" Astoria said innocently. "I don't see any in here… You couldn't be referring to me, could you?"

"Of course she is, blood-traitor!" Nott laughed.

"Don't give me that, Nott. You're the one snogging the half-blood!" Astoria said dangerously, then laughed as everyone turned and stared at Tracy Davis. Sometimes being observant was a good thing!

"I am not a blood-traitor. If filth distracts me from my work, I deal with it! The Mudbloods were distracting me. So I shut them up." Astoria acted exactly as a Pureblood Slytherin would, but inwardly she cringed at the words coming out of her mouth. She sounded… like Bellatrix.

Most of the Slytherins, who had turned back to watch her, looked at her with belief in their eyes. Had she really convinced them?

"Huh, yah right." Amycus scoffed. "You better go fix whatever you did down there, we don't care if they 'distract you'!"

"Really professor, you aren't capable of reversing a silencing spell?" Astoria smiled mockingly.

Amycus flushed.

"Well, if you're so sure that's why you did it, you wouldn't mind a little trip to the Headmaster's office, now would you?" Alecto said dangerously.

The Headmaster? Were they going to… no they couldn't.

"Of course! The Headmaster remembers the privileges due to Purebloods. Apparently you two have forgotten." Astoria walked towards the common room door, hoping that her protective shield would hold. It did.

Alecto fired a curse at Astoria, but it bounced off her shield. "Greengrass, where do you think you are going? I'm not done with you!" She screeched.

Astoria stopped right at the door, and slowly turned around. "Really professor, are you really that smart? You asked me to visit the Headmaster, so I am!"

Astoria was sick and tired of these stupid people, and part of that must have carried to her voice, because some of the Slytherin's eyes widened.

After her parting shot, Astoria swept through the door, not even caring if the Carrows were coming.

"Greengrass! Greengrass!" Alecto shrieked, but Astoria didn't care.

0o0o0o0o0o0o

The two Carrows caught up to her about a hallway away from the Headmaster, just as she expected them to.

Amycus grabbed her elbow, spinning her around. "Just where do you think you're going, Greengrass?"

Astoria sighed, and pulled her elbow from his grasp. "I haven't changed my destination in the past 5 minutes, professor. I'm still going to the Headmaster's."

"Hmm, I guess we will come with you then, Greengrass?" Alecto smiled sickeningly at her.

"If you wish, professor."

When Astoria reached the gargoyles in front of the Headmaster's office, she stopped. She didn't know the password.

"What's taking you so long, Greengrass?" Amycus thought he was being funny.

"Well, professor, for some reason I find myself incapable of remembering the Teacher's Only password…"

"Password?" Alecto asked. Now she resembled her brother.

"Yes, professor. You should know it."

"Go get McGonagall, you fool!" Alecto cried, kicking her brother when he didn't move.

Amycus lumbered off down the corridor, not even knowing where McGonagall's office was.

"Oy! You, gargoyle! Let me in, I'm a teacher!" Alecto yelled at the gargoyle.

"Sorry. No can do." The gargoyle came to life, making Alecto jump back a bit.

"I'm a teacher, you idiot!" Alecto was extremely mad.

"Sorry."

"You'll pay for this!" Alecto pulled out her wand, and pointed it at the statue. Just then McGonagall appeared, hurrying down the corridor towards them, incidently in the opposite direction that Amycus had taken.

"Alecto! What on earth are you doing to the Headmaster's gargoyle?" McGonagall reprimanded, much as if she was talking to a wayward student.

"Bloody thing won't give the stupid password."

McGonagall sighed with distaste over Alecto's choice of words.

"Very well. Omnia munda sanguis dominator." Astoria realized that whatever the password meant, McGonagall didn't approve. She made a mental note to look it up, as soon as all of this was over.

The gargoyles nodded, and moved aside so that they party could pass through. Alecto jerked her chin at Astoria, motioning for her to go first.

Astoria stepped on to the spiral stairs, starting to climb, when they began to move. She stopped, slightly startled. Alecto grinned maliciously at her surprise, having jumped on the last step, expecting it to move.

Soon enough the stairs stopped, leaving Astoria staring at an elaborate door, rather nervous. While she was distracted, Alecto came up behind her, and grabbed her collar, sticking her wand into Astoria's ribs.

Astoria jumped, startled out of her thoughts, as Alecto grabbed her. "Not so cocky now, are we?" Alecto grinned.

Alecto kicked the door open, keeping both hands on Astoria. Astoria was content to follow, knowing if she needed it, her wand was in an easy to reach pocket.

"Severus? I caught a blood-traitor. One of your jobs, eh?" Alecto called as she walked through the door. No answer came, and both women looked around the room.

Snape wasn't in sight. "Oy! You!" Alecto yelled, jerking her chin at the paintings. "Where's Severus?"

One of the Headmaster portraits, Phineas Nigellus, replied in a frosty voice "Professor Snape is presently indisposed. Apologies."

Alecto looked very confused, Astoria was delighted. "Professor, indisposed means he's not here." Astoria said this with a very slow 'you're so stupid' voice.

Alecto snarled at her, and jabbed her with her wand. Astoria doubled over, it hurt!

"Now I have to go find the stupid idiot!"

"I'll come with you." Astoria offered, not wanting to be left in the Headmaster's office alone.

"You will stay here, understand?" Alecto threw Astoria aside and walked as swiftly as she could to the door, cursing under her breath.

Alecto had thrown Astoria into a table filled with delicate metal objects. Astoria, trying to catch her fall, had accidently thrown some of the things on the ground, which shattered them, gashing her arm open. Astoria hadn't been able to catch her fall completely, and had landed in a heap on the floor.

Some of the portraits sniggered, Astoria didn't know which ones.

She ignored them, standing up and collecting the rest of her shattered dignity around her. Not wanting to make any noise, she silently repaired the objects, and replaced them on the table. She _scourgified_ the blood off her robes, and healed her wrist.

Then she just stood there, back to the portraits, not wanting to face them until her mask was fully in place.

"Excellent clean up job, Astoria. May I ask why you were brought here?" Dumbledore's voice reverberated through the room.

Astoria gasped. She had forgotten that Dumbledore's portrait was in here. She didn't think he had even known who she was!

She whirled around, eyes searching for his picture. There it was. Dumbledore smiled at her serenely out of it.

"How do you know who I am?" Her voice trembled as she asked. She cleared her throat.

"My dear, I was your headmaster. You can't hide from everyone, you know!" Now his voice was jovial.

"Not anymore." She said bitterly.

"Ah yes. What did you do to make Alecto so angry?"

Her eyes, which had been staring at the floor, flashed up and met his electric blue ones. "I silenced the dungeons." She said defiantly.

"May I ask why?" Dumbledore didn't seem surprised.

"No."

Phineas Nigellus was spluttering. "The impertinence! The betrayal! How… aren't you a Greengrass? What is the world coming too? These children have no respect these days…"

"I hardly think silencing the dungeons makes me a blood-traitor, or a betrayer, Headmaster Nigellus. I did it because the filth were distracting me." Astoria knew she needed to make these adults believe her, and she wanted to see Dumbledore's reaction. He knew far too much about her.

Dumbledore looked sad, but resigned.

"And who gave you the authority to make such a decision?" This time it was Snape's voice which reverberated through the room. Astoria gasped, again, not expecting him to be there, and he sounded very close.

She slowly turned around, after making sure her mask was in place. She had to be careful now. This conversation could potentially be the death of her.

"No one else would. I'm not a coward." She said challengingly.

"I see." Turning to Dumbledore's portrait, Snape continued, "Alecto is fighting with the gargoyles again. She will be here soon."

That didn't make any sense. Snape killed Dumbledore, now he sounded like he was asking for advice!

Dumbledore opened his mouth to reply, but Alecto threw the door open, apparently having gotten past the gargoyles.

"Finally, Severus! When have you BEEN?" She was very out of breath.

"Around."

Alecto looked a bit offended at the curt response, but brushed it off. "Well, what are you gonna do to the traitor?"

Snape looked at Astoria, who was frozen still, hoping. "I'm going to give her a choice."

Alecto started to open her mouth, furious, but Snape cut her off with his hand.

"What choice?" Astoria asked quietly.

"A week of detentions."

"And my choice?" Astoria raised an eyebrow, hiding her fear.

"You can either deliver the detention, or receive the detention." Alecto was overjoyed. She had wanted to torture Astoria the entire time.

THAT was the choice? Torture them or be tortured? Of course. He was a Death Eater. This punishment was just down his alley.

Oh, she didn't know what to do! She knew what the proper answer was: they are filth anyway, she should enjoy it! But for some reason, she had stopped being a proper pureblood...

"And by when do I need to make this decision?" Hopefully she didn't need to make it yet, she needed time!

"Your first detention will be in 3 days. You can decide then."

Astoria was relieved. She didn't need to know yet. "Then may I go?"

Snape nodded. Astoria turned towards the door. Alecto glared at her, half disappointed.

As Astoria walked past Alecto, alert, to see if she would attack her, Snape said "Alecto, you can go as well. I don't want to talk to you right now, I am very busy."

Alecto growled, quietly, and shoved Astoria aside, stomping past her onto the stairs. As the giant doors closed behind Astoria, she thought she heard Snape growl "I hope you know what you are doing!"

She vaguely wondered who he was talking to, but ignored it. It couldn't have had anything to do with her.

0o0o0o0o0o0

WHAT did you think? Absolutely horrible? I should never write anything again? I made a million mistakes?

TELL ME! You see that review button down there v ? Press it, and take a minute or two to tell me what you think, it would give me so much inspiration! (EVEN if it is a flame.)

Oh, and bonus points to anyone who can guess what the password means!


	8. Sixth Year: A Time To Choose

**Now I understand you totally hate me now, because I've taken forever. I'm really sorry. You really don't know how sorry I am. I could go into all the different reasons why I couldn't, but those would be excuses. So here is the story. Because that's what you really came here for.**

**Enjoy!**

**Your penitent writer, Rose.**

Astoria was frantic. It was the third day already, and she didn't have a plan. So far, she hadn't been able to find any spell to help her, even after getting into the restricted section. Too bad she couldn't just make them scream, without inflicting any pain!

….Wait… She technically could make them. The Imperius curse would work, right? No, it's an unforgivable! But so is the Cruciatus.

Comparing both of them morally, which is better? Hmm…. But, how could Astoria make it work?

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

It was time. Astoria was shaking, sitting in the common room, waiting for the Carrows to come.

Malfoy, drawn to her distress, came over. "What'd you do this time, Greengrass? You're shaking like a leaf."

"She has a detention tonight, that's all." Tracy Davis leaned over, whispering confidentially. She was still very mad at Astoria for telling everyone that she had been making out with Nott.

"What? But you are a Pureblood!"

"I'm the one casting the Cruciatus, geniuses! That's more than you could manage, Davis…" Davis jerked her chin at Astoria, challenging her. Astoria just smirked.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

"Greengrass." Alecto smirked as she stood in front of Astoria. "What'd you choose?" Obviously, she clearly wanted to torture the girl.

"I'm torturing, of course! Who knows, I might even find it fun."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Astoria was standing in the dudgeon, outwardly cook, inwardly shaking. She didn't know who she was going to be 'torturing', because they weren't here yet.

Just then Amycus pushed someone into the room so hard they went flying. The girl picked herself up, and looked at Astoria.

It was Luna.

Luna looked at her in bewilderment. "A…Astoria?" Astoria had never hated the Carrows, who stood there grinning, more than at that moment.

"Hullo, Luna." Astoria said hollowly. Luna looked very sad, but not for herself, for Astoria.

"You know each other? How perfect. Astoria, Lovegood here has been a very bad girl. She seems to think that Harry Potter will win against the Dark Lord! She also thinks that muggles are just like us, and we should mate with the filth. What do you have to say to that?" Alecto was incensed that the girl would both believe such things, and have the nerve to say them.

"How…" Astoria's voice broke. She cleared it, and continued. "How very stupid." She meant it as well. Believing those things were well and good, but proclaiming them in this dark time? It was a very foolish thing to do.

"Well?" Alecto asked.

"Well what?"

"What are you waiting for? Give us a show! Or…. Do you want to take her place, instead?"

"No. I mean!" Astoria hurried on, before either Carrow got the wrong idea. "I mean I'm not talking her place. She deserves it."

While Astoria was talking, she cast a silent _Imperio_ at Luna. Luna fought it for a second, but acquiesced, in a way that made Astoria feel that Luna, trusted her. Trusted her? That couldn't be right.

'_When I say "crucio" you will scream. Like you are being crucio-ed. Understand?' _Astoria hoped it would work. If it didn't, she was in big trouble.

Astoria took a deep breath, and raised her wand. She pointed it at Luna, and said, in a shaky voice "Cr…Crucio." Luna's scream rent the air, as she writhed on the ground. After a minute passed, Luna stopped moving, and lay there, panting.

It worked! That was all that Astoria could think. The Carrows didn't notice, Luna had behaved perfectly!

Alecto looked at Astoria with mild surprise. "I didn't think you had it in you, girly!" She laughed.

Uh oh. Time for more acting! "Why wouldn't I? I'm a Death Eater's daughter, yes? And besides…." Astoria nudged Luna's body with a toe. "She get on my nerves."

"Again. Do it again!" Alecto ordered. Astoria turned back to Luna, a small smile on her face. She felt that she was actually doing something for the movement. And it felt good. The best part is? No one could tell…

After a couple more crucios, Astoria was done. Luna was let go. Astoria whispered one last command _"Do not remember any of this." _Astoria was confident that it would work.

0o0o0o0o0

At the dinner hall, Astoria had to hold in her euphoria. Her 'detention' had gone off without a hitch! She was actually able to eat her food for once, she had an appetite. The screams weren't as bad if she knew they were fake!

Someone was staring at her. She could feel eyes on her back. She turned slightly in her chair, and the eyes were gone. Great.

Astoria turned around just enough so she could see the other tables and peered around to see who might have been the culprit. No luck. She turned back around.

After a few seconds, the eyes were back, burning a hole into her back. Astoria bent down, as if she was retrieve something she had dropped. Neville was glaring at her. Luna was standing next to him, looking worried.

Uh oh. Was Neville going to try something? Let him try, he couldn't do anything to her! If fact, it would be fun if he tried to attack her.

Luna was whispering in Neville's ear. She looked confused, and scared. And Neville was still staring at her.

Maybe…Luna HAD remembered? And now she was going to tell Neville? Luna was beckoning Neville towards the doors. Astoria decided to follow them. If it wasn't about her, that was alright. She needed to satisfy her curiosity.

Luna walked out into the hallway, away from all the people. Neville followed her.

"What did you want to tell me, Luna?" Neville asked.

"I think….Do you remember Astoria Greengrass?" Luna asked, after she had stopped, and faced him.

"Uh. Not really."

Astoria, hidden with a dissolutionment charm, smiled. Of course he didn't.

"She was the one who cast it…" Neville made an inarticulate noise of disgust.

"No, it's not like that!" Luna protested.

She had been a bit more serious lately, Astoria had noticed. Maybe it was the reality of her situation.

"Neville, I didn't feel any pain." Luna said seriously, and quietly.

"What?" Neville asked automatically. He couldn't make sense of the situation.

"Astoria is secretly on our side!" Luna said, her usual dreamy quality back in her voice.

"Luna, that's crazy. She's a Slytherin, a Greengrass, and a Pureblood. Why would she help you? You are probably just imagining it."

Astoria shifted, discomfited by the way he spat those words. Then she stopped. It was ironic. Those words used to describe her so well, of course he would think that!

"She could be our spy, Neville. She is perfectly placed. An ally! We could…"

"No." Neville Interrupted her. "it's not safe. What if she is a spy for the other side? It's not safe."

"Nothing is safe." Luna said eerily. Astoria smiled. Luna had given her a perfect opening.

"Exactly!" She said loudly. "Including this corridor." Luna turned around, eyes widened. Neville whirled around, wand out, and shot a jinx in the direction of where the voice had come from.

Astoria smiled, having anticipated this. She had already moved to another place.

"It's rather rude to be talking about someone behind their back, you know." Astoria said again.

Luna turned again, but not rapidly. She had a smile on her face. Neville, however, was annoyed, and shot another jinx, hoping to hit Astoria. Astoria had already moved.

"Who's there?" Neville demanded.

"I am." In a reckless move, Astoria shed her dissolutionment charm, but kept her wand out.

Neville immediately sent a jinx towards her. She blocked it easily, contemptuously, then disarmed him.

Neville's wand flew through the air towards her, and she caught it neatly. "Now, where were we?" Astoria asked sweetly.

"You are surrounded by Nargals, you know." Luna observed, out of the blue, to Astoria. Neville rolled his eyes at her, then immediately switched his gaze back to Astoria, not trusting her for a second.

"Fascinating." Astoria drawled.

"What do you want?" Neville demanded.

"Nothing really… Just a memory or two!" Astoria said matter of factly. Before either could protest, she cast an _Obliviate_ on first Neville, then Luna. Their faces went slack as she carefully removed the memories she needed, and nothing else.

Then she left before they could see her again. She held her head high as she walked away, wishing that things could be different, and knowing they would never be.

**What do you think? Hate it, love it. What to yell at me for taking so long? Press that little button down there, the one that says "Review" or something. **

**Oh, and in case you haven't guessed yet, I'm not Rowling. :)**


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